Tuesday, April 14, 2009

Anyone have an epi-pen?

Last night, at bedtime of course, we discovered that our "precious dog" Max was apparently having a severe allergic reaction!The photos on the left are normal "Max" faces. On the right are Max doing an impersonation of a puffer fish! He's pretty good, eh?

His entire body was COVERED IN WELTS and he was extremely sad and lethargic. His breathing, which is normally deep and makes a snoring sound, was shallow and soundless; and, for a brief moment in time, we were all suddenly contemplating how sad our lives would be without Max!!
My first thought was of how much he reminded me of Jenny the time she touched a teacher friend's guinea pig and swole up like a pregnant woman who just downed a gallon sized jar of pickles! (For those of you who don't know, Jenny is HIGHLY ALLERGIC TO EVERYTHING!)

By the time it was all said and done, I had three girls squawling, certain that Max was not going to make it! All of this drama brought some of the funniest quotes. Here are some of my favorite from the night:

I AM NOT spending three hundred dollars for a vet to tell me my dog is allergic! I grew up in the country and any dog that can't survive an allergy attack is not worthy of the title dog!

(All of the following quotes were said with passion through sobs and tears!)

Jordan: (To Wes after his comment above!) You are an irresponsible pet owner!

Abbee: I'm praying for a miracle! We just need a miracle and that's what I've been praying for!

Emma: I'm just thinking about all those times you asked me to take care of Max and I didn't feel like it. What if he dies and he doesn't know how much I loved him?

My response to all of this madness?
Max wouldn't want you to be so sad! He would want you to go to bed and get a good night's sleep because he knows that's what's best for you! Besides, if he doesn't die, you are wasting all of these perfectly good tears!!

Don't be jealous of my ability to rationalize the thoughts of a canine who was more than likely trying to commit suicide to escape the madness that is our household! The good news is, our miracle came! Max is back to normal and all is well! Except for my throw pillow he managed to chew to pieces leaving stuffing all over the living room floor...that pillow will never be the same!


  1. FYI for future reference, you can give dogs benadryl for allergies. I believe it is 1mg per pound your dog weighs. Check with your vet for sure... we give our dogs the childrens chewables.

  2. Oh sweet Max...I feel your pain! Benadryl sister, hide that precious pink pill in peanut butter and he'll lap it up!

  3. I love Wes's sensitivity!!

  4. Are his eyes that blue??

    Or do dogs get blue-eye in pictures instead of red-eye??

  5. wes and colin feel the same way about dogs. this post was hilarious!