Yesterday, one of my children asked to talk to me about a form she needed returned to school on Wednesday. She asked with urgency if I would please come to her room and talk with her about it. I was in the middle of a movie...a really good movie...and couldn't understand why we needed to discuss a form that wasn't due until Wednesday right that very second! And, I really couldn't understand why we needed to do so in private.
But, as I put her off, I saw hurt and disappointment in her eyes and I knew that this matter must be more important to her than I understood; so, I followed her to her room where she laid down on her bed and asked me to do the same.
She started the conversation casually as if she was really concerned about the choices on the form; but, as we began to talk, her facade began to fade. Our conversation quickly shifted to several deep struggles with which she has been wrestling. She spoke through sobs; and, my heart broke for her. In that moment, God gave me a beautiful opportunity to share with her what He has been teaching me about faith.
I asked her deep probing questions about whether or not she trusted God and what he says in His word. At one point, she answered, "Just because you ask God for something doesn't mean he's gonna do it." She is exactly right.
Trusting God means trusting Him even when He doesn't give us what we ask for. It's believing that, despite our circumstances, He is absolutely in control. He is carrying out a plan that cannot be thwarted; and, He allows us to be a part of HIS story.
Trusting God means realizing that He knows better than we do. So, when he chooses to write a script that we wouldn't have chosen for ourselves, faith is resting in the assurance that it is absolutely for our good and for His ultimate glory.
That kind of faith is often extremely hard. As I looked into my daughter's eyes, I saw a girl who was struggling deeply with the hand that God is dealing her. She is finding that trusting a God who would bring her pain and uncertainty is horribly difficult.
Although seeing her in so much pain is terribly heartbreaking, I know that God is about to teach her something amazing.
I don't believe for a second that it is a coincidence that God has spent the last year teaching ME the very truth that I spoke to her. I believed every word of what I was saying to her. I was speaking TRUTH. I was speaking of a faith that was completely different than the faith I would have described to her a year ago.
I have no clue how this new chapter in her life is going to end; but, for the very first time in my life, I am at peace with the unknown. I am actually a little bit excited to see what God does. I am praying that through her wrestling, God is, at this very moment, drawing her to Himself.
I am grateful that God, who is rich in mercy, is at work in the heart of my daughter and allowing me play a part.
Romans 9:23 "What if he did this to make the riches of his glory known to the objects of his mercy, whom he prepared in advance for glory—"