So, I made a couple or three resolutions for 2012. In all honesty, this is the first year in several years that I have looked forward to with any kind of hope. (I know, I know! Cue Debbie Downer!) I've been in somewhat of a funk. Mostly a spiritual funk. God has been ruthless over the past several years and been digging around in places that I had buried for a long, long time. Coming to terms with your own sinfulness is ugly. Brutal. Exhausting.
I know that it's not over. The digging that is. But, toward the end of 2011, I had a life-changing moment with God. Or, I guess I should say He opened my eyes to something that had bogged me down in my faith for a LONG time. (It's a very very long story, as it involves a verse that has bothered me most of my Christian life. I hope to find words to articulate it soon.)
Here is my point: I have hope that I haven't felt in years and it gives me reason to look to 2012 with a new anticipation. It's not so much optimism. I don't believe that it will be the year of my dreams or anything! It's more of a renewed trust. Knowing that I cannot know what this coming year will hold, but I can trust that God is there and He is enough.
some goals for 2012.
As with all good intentions, it is wise to think through how you're going to actually pull them off.
I have to start with the acknowledgement that all real change is a work of grace. So, I am completely dependent upon God to transform me. This never goes as quickly as I would like. It's always slow, tedious, meticulous, and BRUTALLY PAINFUL!
I have two options here. I can either get up earlier or go to bed later. Both options will rob me of sleep and MOMA NEEDS HER SLEEP! But, I know that the benefits of a praying mom outweigh the benefits of a rested mom, so I have decided to get up earlier.
So, that is my big plan for being a more intentional prayer.
It's not much for sure, but this is the year of HOPE!
P.S. I have a thing for sunsets! Too bad it's not for sunrises! Because that would flow so much better with this post! Perhaps I should have chosen stay up later!