Thursday, July 07, 2011

I Believe. Help my Unbelief.

I remember the moment. I remember the circumstances. I remember my words.

"Maybe God is just giving you an opportunity to trust Him."

I remember believing, hoping, and praying that she would learn to trust Him.

Lately, my words have haunted from the recesses of my mind.

"Maybe God is just giving you an opportunity to trust Him."

And the still, small voice is pressing hard.

"Do you believe? Do you trust me?"

Life doesn't always go the way we had hoped. We don't get a say in the choices of others, and we can't make people do things the way we think they should be done. We don't get to control death, loss, disease. We can't change the diagnosis that will rob our loved one of their memories. We just stand there helpless as we watch it happen.

And, that's what I do.

I watch helplessly as life goes much differently than I had planned.

I wrestle. I wonder. I ache.

I get angry.

I long for control.

Isn't that the root of all sin? My belief that my way is better than His? Isn't that what I am really thinking?

All the while, it is there.

The whispered, "Do you trust me?"

Faith is not something you have, it is something you do. Despite the wrestling, the ache, and the anger you trust; knowing that someday, it will all be redeemed.

Knowing that even though I cannot see it, it is being redeemed.

God is not idle.

I am not alone.

He is redeeming.

Do I trust Him?


  1. I clicked "next" on the top of my blog and found your blog...

    Your line...Maybe God is just giving you an opportunity to trust Him...caught my eye...

    Beautiful. A sweet reminder from God this I wait and wonder and try not to worry about something...

    Thank you.

  2. Fearless by Max Lucado is a permanent fixture on my nightstand because every time those little demons of doubt creep into ,y mind, I have to pick it up and read a chapter or two. Great scripture and great lessons.

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  4. I love your raw expression of faith. Sometimes it is so hard to walk this road I committed to, but I do believe it is worth it. He is redeeming. Thanks for your affirmation of faith.

  5. Pleased to know that the trials of my loneliness are actually a way for my God to build my character and trust His presence...

  6. I'm so pleased for having the 'next' button on my page.
    The headline was an eyecatcher and I love the way you write. I also doubt at some time.
    Thank you for this wonderful experience.

  7. I found your blog by clicking next blog. I loved this. You write very honestly. It was a pleasure to read! God Bless You!